Recently, I came across an interesting term in Haemin Sunim's book 'Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down'. It was about the shift from YOLO (You Only Live Once) to SBCH (Small But Certain Happiness), and that's what this blog is about: small but certain happiness.
In our current society, the idea of happiness is often associated with grand things, achievements, or spectacular events. The pressure to live large and seize every opportunity under the motto 'You Only Live Once' (YOLO) was for years a way to shape your wishes and dreams. YOLO seems like a liberating idea and the path to ultimate happiness, but in practice, that wasn't always the case. In response, people started looking for small but certain happiness, which Japanese author Haruki Murakami described as ‘Small But Certain Happiness’ (SBCH) – finding joy in the small, everyday certainties of life.
The limitations of YOLO
What exactly does YOLO mean? A few years ago, you heard this term often, but nowadays it seems to have completely disappeared. The YOLO lifestyle is based on the idea that life is short and you should make the most of it. So dream big and seize every opportunity to make your dreams come true. This may sound great and liberating, and it can motivate you to step out of your comfort zone and do things you wouldn't normally do. However, this way of life also turned out to have a downside in various areas:
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Financial: A YOLO lifestyle can lead to impulsive financial decisions, such as spending excessive money on expensive things, vacations, and activities, without considering the future. This can lead to financial problems, debt, or a lack of preparation for unforeseen circumstances.
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Health: People who follow the YOLO philosophy may be inclined to engage in risky behavior, such as extreme sports without proper preparation, excessive alcohol and drug use, or unsafe sexual behavior, resulting in various health risks.
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Long term: Focusing on immediate gratification of your desires can have a negative long-term impact. This can come at the expense of your career development, studies, or building lasting relationships and family life.
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Relationships: Perhaps not an obvious consequence, but impulsive decisions and actions can also have a negative effect on your personal relationships. Friends and family who do not share this attitude towards life may feel alienated or annoyed by unpredictable and perhaps irresponsible behavior.
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Mental: While the pursuit of happiness should give you a pleasant and satisfying feeling, the opposite can be true. The continuous striving for excitement and adventure can lead to exhaustion and dissatisfaction. You may feel a lack of meaning and experience anxiety and depression when the feeling of excitement diminishes. This results in a continuous feeling of restlessness due to the pursuit of excitement, fulfillment, and adventure.
The benefits of Small But Certain Happiness
It is therefore not surprising that a counter-movement has emerged in response to this free-spirited approach to life. In contrast to YOLO, SBCH focuses on appreciating the simple, small things in life that provide certainty and lasting happiness. It's about finding joy in everyday things, such as blooming spring flowers, the scent of freshly baked bread, or taking a quiet moment for yourself.
This simple, more minimalist lifestyle offers several advantages:
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Less stress: By focusing on what is truly important to you and less on (grand) material things, this can bring more peace and thus reduce your stress levels. You simply don't have to worry about, for example, the maintenance, loss, and costs of your material possessions.
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Contentment: When you let go of the need for constant consumption and the pursuit of social expectations, you can enjoy and find happiness more in daily experiences and relationships. By being content with less, you can increase your sense of contentment.
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Sustainability: A more minimalist lifestyle often has a positive effect on the environment. By consuming less and more consciously, you contribute to less waste and a lower environmental impact.
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Relationships: By focusing less on material things and more on relationships with others, you can develop deeper and more meaningful relationships with the people around you. This can, in turn, boost your personal well-being.
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Financial: In contrast to YOLO, SBCH has a positive effect on your financial situation. With this attitude to life, you are more conscious of your spending and are more likely to avoid non-essential expenses. This can give you more financial freedom and enable you to save, for example, to retire earlier!
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Personal growth: By shifting your attention to a simpler life, you can spend more time on self-reflection and personal development. This helps you increase your self-awareness and live by your personal values and goals.
If you compare both lifestyles, you can say that YOLO focuses on short-term pleasure and SBCH on long-term happiness.
Applying SBCH in your daily life
If this simpler lifestyle appeals to you and you want to engage more with it, here are a few practical tips on how to live more consciously and enjoy the small daily things:
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Mindfulness: Consciously pay attention to the present moment a few times a day: look around and notice what you see, breathe deeply and notice what you smell, pause and listen carefully to the sounds you hear.
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Gratitude: Actively reflect on what you are grateful for, no matter how big or small these things are. This contributes to an increased sense of happiness. Take a few minutes each day to list or write down at least five things you are grateful for that day, for example, before going to sleep.
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Nature: It is well known that spending time in nature has a positive effect on your health and well-being. So go outside and take a nice walk. Really take the time to inhale the scent of nature, take in the sounds, and look attentively at what you see.
SBCH and science
Psychological research supports the idea that small, daily experiences of positivity can contribute to a lasting sense of well-being. It also shows that people who attach less importance to material things and more to personal growth, relationships, and a sense of community often experience a higher level of well-being. Research also indicates that a high degree of materialism has a negative effect on happiness.
Personally, I find SBCH a liberating idea, where your happiness does not depend at all on something that lies somewhere in the distant future, but precisely on the small, certain things we encounter day in, day out. How wonderful is that!